This city was a blueprint for hell..chapter 5

MY APOLOGIES! I know it took forever, and i am truely sorry. I'm in a writing mood, and hopefully this will take my mind off of other things in my life. hope you enjoy!

~Hayley's pov~

"Hayley, hi!" Kirstin said, hugging me tightly. I imediately stiffened under her grip and tried to pull myself from her.

"Kirstin, what are you doing here?" I asked. She smiled and took a step closer, so that her face was only inches from mine.

"A little birdie told me you'd be here today, so i decided to stop by and see how you're doing." she said. I looked over her shoulder and saw Sam walking into the building with her skates under her arm, looking puzzled as she saw this girl standing so close to me. I took a few steps back from Kirstin and waved to Sam.

"Kirstin, it really is....good...to see you, but i can't have this conversation any longer. I'm here on a date, and i really should go." I tried to walk around her, but she blocked my way. I send a worried expression to sam, and she started for us.

"Hal, i really hate the way things ended between us. I want to make it up to you in any way. Just name it, i'll do it." She said, pushing me against a wall. Just when i thought i might have to kick her ass, Sam's hand came down hard on Kirstin's shoulder and she pulled her back.

"I believe you're interupting our date." Sam said in a bitter tone that i'd never heard before. Kirstin looked from her, to me, and back to her. Finally she sighed and, with one last sad look at me, turned and walked away.

"Thank goodness you came along! i was afraid i'd have to hurt that girl in a minute or two." i smiled greatfully at her.

"Well, lets get to this date, shall we?" sam said. Just as she went to take my hand, her cell phone rang. she rolled her eyes as she picked it up, but her face soon turned to worry.

"Hayley...Patrick overdosed!"

~Gabe's pov~

I can't believe i made the love of my life try to kill himself. And what makes matters worse, i would have never known if Sammie didn't go to talk to him and find him half dead. I'm a terrible person. I don't deserve to be loved.

I sat by Pat's bed, waiting for him to wake up so i could apologize. sammie was on the other side, trying not to look into my eyes. I thought she'd be furious at me, but she seemed deep in thought. She sat starring out the window at the slow drizzles of rain pouring down it's spotless glass, every once in a while looking at me. When she did look at me, it was a deep, probing look. One that, as hard as i tried, i couldn't look away from. Was she seeing into my soul? Probably. Which means she can see the true uglyness underneath my mask. great, let her see me. Let her see the stupid homosexual who was so ashamed of himself that he broke two peoples hearts and made one try to kill himself. Let her see how terrible i am.

~Brendon's pov~

i stormed into the hospital room to find gabe sitting next to Pats bed, with Sammie on the other side, looking at him like she was trying to figure him out. Maybe they had just been talking. I gave her a simpathetic look when her eyes moved to my face, then turned my eyes on Gabe. Evil took a whole new form when i glared at him. I felt like i wanted so badly to hurt him with something, anything, but i knew i wouldn't. he just looked so dead. He starred at me for a long time, as if trying to pass a message to me with his eyes, then turned his shamed face to the floor.

I got it. he knew what he did, and he felt terribe for it. I wanted so badly to scream at him, but the words wouldn't leave my mouth, and it was silent for a long time before Gabe finally spoke. His voice came out monotone, raspy, cold. i had to move closer to understand the words he spook, he was talking so fast.

"I know i'm an ass, okay? I know i deserve to die. i know you both hate me, i know Patrick hates me, i just-" his words were cut off by deep sobs, making his whole body shake from head to toe.

"Oh god what have i done!?" he sobs, burling up into a ball in the chair. I felt my throat tighten up and looked over at sammie. she was giving him a soft look, like what he had done to her didn't matter anymore. I placed my hand on his back and sat down next to him.

"Gabe-" i started.

"No!" he pushed my hand off. "Don't treat me like i'm the victim! I'm a terrible person, treat me like it, dammit!" He was begining to loose it, i could tell. He was taking Pat's suicide attempt in, and he couldn't escape the thought that it might have been too late.

"Gabe, listen to me! You need to calm down. Just calm down!" I grabbed him and pulled him into a hug, and even though he tried to push me off, he eventually crumbled into my arms and cried into my chest. Sam was up now,stroking his hair gently and telling him to breath. After a few minutes, his sobs turned into little shakes, then nothing at all. He looked at us both, questions written all over his face.

"How can i possibly forgive myself for this?"